i am in a feta relationship. you know the cheese? yes that’s what i’m referring too. it just seems like it crumbles too easily and when you put it back together it only gets worse five seconds later. it has that salty taste that sickens you after awhile . it’s horrible i really hate being in this feta ordeal. when you have a taste for it you really love it, but when you don’t it’s like shoving a fork down your throat. i feel that i should stay with him for awhile though…meaning until my birthday so i can get presents. we never have sex anymore either, the flame has been long gone, i don’t find him as attractive as he was. the thing that really errcts me though is that my straying as only lead me back to him, which after awhile the same feeling seem to surface. maybe i’m thinking too much, maybe i’m not thinking enough.

on a lighter note i think i’m leading myself into a state for depression, all i ever do is go on this damn machine and i can’t sleep. i think about the future and want to go into hibernation for eternity, or atleast for a year or five. thinking that if i do somehow my future can accomplish what i’ve been planning out for years all on it’s own. i push aside all responsibilities and and have been suffering, if only minor consequences, that will have worse and greater effects in a months time i would assume.

when it seems as if my whole life is falling apart when i take a closer look, i’m still strategizing on how to pick up the pieces and re arrange it into the puzzle i’ve always wanted, but right now my sense of regret is the only thing stopping me.